Anyway, my mom goes "Gross" as I stretched up my arms.
"This is how I'm naturally made so why is it gross?" I asked.
"It just is," she said. "Armpit hair is gross. But I don't mind it on guys."
"Okay, so the human default for women is gross then? But on men, nature got it right?"
So women are naturally gross and men are just fine the way Nature made them. Men are the superior model of humanity then and women are just there to conform to certain beauty standards to live up to the expectations of other women and be sexually appealing to the real humans of the world: men. WTF?
This all left me puzzling how in the hell I was born of this woman but then made me realize that she had helped shape some of the more patriarchal ideas I once held about the world. My mother is a patriarchy sympathizer. Or apologetic. Or whatever. But it's not like she knows any better.
So I've already been pondering shaving today since I'm feeling that bit of female peer pressure bred on disapproval. Those few words were able to leave a mark on my psyche enough to rethink my hair experiment in about two seconds even though the larger part of me really doesn't give a shit at all. This is just experiential proof of how strong the cultural scripts we were raised with really are. It's all so pervasive. And commercial. And exploitative. Ugh.
We'll see if I can fight the urge to conform since that's really all it is. My beliefs are not in line at all with that conformity but the urge is still there. Acceptance or fear of not getting it is a huge factor in the choices we all make in life.
Growing out my natural body hair is me trying to get just a little more free. If I can do it and not care what others think or say, maybe I'll be an inch further from being a hapless sheep. Then if I choose to shave it will actually be a choice and not an act of slavery to gain acceptance from a culture that I basically believe chews people up and spits them out for a profit.