Being Human is Good for Guys But Gross for Girls

I had an interesting non-conversation with my mother this morning after I did a little stretch and yawn while wearing a tank top. I've been letting my armpit hair grow out a bit just to see what it's like since I've never even actually seen it. Honestly, I've been shaving since I was 12 and have no idea what my body is naturally supposed to look like with hair. I let my legs grow out once during a particularly long Upstate, New York winter. But never my pits.

Anyway, my mom goes "Gross" as I stretched up my arms.

"This is how I'm naturally made so why is it gross?" I asked.

"It just is," she said. "Armpit hair is gross. But I don't mind it on guys."

"Okay, so the human default for women is gross then? But on men, nature got it right?"

"Pretty much."

So women are naturally gross and men are just fine the way Nature made them. Men are the superior model of humanity then and women are just there to conform to certain beauty standards to live up to the expectations of other women and be sexually appealing to the real humans of the world: men. WTF?

This all left me puzzling how in the hell I was born of this woman but then made me realize that she had helped shape some of the more patriarchal ideas I once held about the world. My mother is a patriarchy sympathizer. Or apologetic. Or whatever. But it's not like she knows any better.

So I've already been pondering shaving today since I'm feeling that bit of female peer pressure bred on disapproval. Those few words were able to leave a mark on my psyche enough to rethink my hair experiment in about two seconds even though the larger part of me really doesn't give a shit at all. This is just experiential proof of how strong the cultural scripts we were raised with really are. It's all so pervasive. And commercial. And exploitative. Ugh.

We'll see if I can fight the urge to conform since that's really all it is. My beliefs are not in line at all with that conformity but the urge is still there. Acceptance or fear of not getting it is a huge factor in the choices we all make in life.

Growing out my natural body hair is me trying to get just a little more free. If I can do it and not care what others think or say, maybe I'll be an inch further from being a hapless sheep. Then if I choose to shave it will actually be a choice and not an act of slavery to gain acceptance from a culture that I basically believe chews people up and spits them out for a profit. 

Your Mother Knows Who Your Father Is

Dionysus By Maria J. William
"How do you know who your daddy is? 'Cause your mama told you so." 
(An old country saying I heard a long time ago. Probably in a movie.)
I have been reading Athana's blog, Radical Goddess Thealogy for years now and quite love the place in general. This morning when visiting Medusa Coils for the monthly Buzzcoil post over there, I was pointed to one of Athana's recent posts. I read it gleefully, taking in all the Goddessy goodness until this point:
"It’s the female body AND the female body alone, with its magnificent, mysterious, magical holy powers, that manufactures life."
Maybe I'm missing something and I certainly mean no disrespect, but I have two children and both of them have fathers. 

Without the divine male principle of vulnerability there would be no life. Without his fluids acting as a catalyst for the fertilization of the seed, there would never be a life created to be further formed or "manufactured" within the body of a woman.

There are few creatures on this planet that can reproduce asexually. Humans are obviously not one of them. Life then apparently requires partnership at least at the moment of conception. I would even venture to say that partnership can remain beneficial for offspring and both partners indefinitely if it's tended to properly and consciously nurtured. 

If we are going to follow Nature as divine law, we must also recognize that there is divinity within males - that their contribution to life should be valued and embraced. Not doing so, in my opinion, has created and can further perpetuate a world where fatherhood is optional and being a nurturing human man is seen as weakness. 

To somehow claim that there is no divine father, that our mother doesn't require a mate, that he doesn't even exist within her, is not only blasphemous in my opinion, but also utterly false. Doing this picking and choosing of which attributes we wish to acknowledge in our divine system of Nature makes us no better than hypocritical Christians who refuse to see the misogyny within the Bible because they still wish to call it the word of a benevolent god.

The fact is that men need to see themselves as divine as much as women do but not in the bolt throwing, sky god, warrior way that they've been told about throughout the last few thousand years. Man needs to see that he is of Nature, never separate from it, never lording over it. He is the primal wildness, the untamed and innocent life force. We all are. Giving him that example instead of telling him maleness can never be divine, can be the way to reintroduce our primal male deity back into human consciousness.  

Male divinity exists alongside and within the Goddess, no matter that we've completely forgotten who he really is. He is not a thundering, war-mongering sky god. He is not a vengeful, corrupt divinity. He is the innocent principle of maleness, the boy, the Buddha, the Lover, the primal wild god whose name has been lost in time. 

Just because we've been given poor father substitutes throughout the darker ages of human civilization, does not mean the true and beautiful divinity of a male god has ceased to exist. We just have to remember him. And I believe, at this time, only our Divine Mother who is The Great Goddess of All Things, can reveal the true nature of our Divine Father.   


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