Mama Said Knock it Off

I have noticed lately that there is a lot of man hating going on. At least that's what it seems like to me. Maybe I'm looking at things from a different angle. I am very willing to admit that, but I'm feeling some real bashing towards the boys that isn't sitting right with me. In situations such as this I look towards what some would call a bit of a cliche: What Would Goddess Do? Well I believe Mama, as I like to call her, would say something like this:

"Knock it off girls. Be angry at the patriarchy, be angry at years of female oppression and misogyny, be angry at the societies and religions who teach our men from an early age to turn their backs on me. But stop lashing out at the boys who are as much my sons as you are my daughters. They are Goddess too, penises and all. And they are as much victims of this time as any one of you. They too have been robbed of their Mother for millenia.

My law is love unto all beings and I teach the oneness of all things. Separation is not my way. Find common ground. Teach of my mysteries in tolerance and compassion. Remove words like man-hater, male-bashing, etc. from your lexicons. Neither sex should be under the thumb of the other. Strive not to replace the patriarchy with a matriarchy but with a system that embraces all people as equal and divine. Be dreamers and seek the Utopia I intended for you since the beginning of time.

Remember that as women you are the teachers and the keepers of culture. With this comes responsibility to future generations. Raise your sons in my image. Teach them equality and respect for all life. Teach them how to love selflessly and with all of their hearts. And give your daughters the same with strength, courage, and compassion to raise their children well in their time. Know that things will not improve so long as fear, hate, and intolerance are the things that fuel your passion for change."


  1. This is a beautiful post! I agree that we as Goddess women need to stop the men-bashing. I think a lot more men would be more open to learning if they weren't put on the defensive. Thank you for sharing these thoughts.

    I am new to your blog, and I think is is just lovely. I am enjoying reading it.

  2. A great post. Its all about the misuse of power and failing to see the utter beauty in each other and in the natural world rather than gender. Power structures are bad for most men as well as women. As a Goddess man in the UK I must say that I have never been put on the defensive or ever felt anything other than acceptance.

  3. Mama said "knock it off"? Well, call me the rebellious child, then. Men-bashing is a perfectly legitimate form of expression for women under a patriarchy, and one I take great comfort in. Every time a man rapes a woman, murders a woman, pays a prostituted woman so he can masturbate into her, rapes a child, downloads pictures of women and children being raped on the internet, hits a woman, creates an anti-woman law, upholds an anti-woman law, looks the wrong way at a woman, hollers at a woman in the street to "get her tits out", or any number of other daily misogynies I could mention, I going to damn well bash him. And I'll do it whether your 'Mama' approves of it or not.

    Among the many Goddesses are Harpies, Furies, Kali, Death Crones, revengers, punishers etc, I think it a big mistake to always think of 'Goddess' as nice, all-loving, beatific. When she is wronged, she reacts. And women are wronged by men every second of every day.

  4. Lisa

    Glad you enjoyed the post. And yes, I agree that men would be more open if we were more open to them. People seem to think that men have no reason to resent women, which is very untrue.


    I agree complete. Very well put. I'm glad to hear you've never been on the recieving end of male bashing.

  5. Debi

    I think you've been wronged and you're angry - which I'm sure you have every right to be. You speak your truth and I speak mine.

    Everyone, male or female, has been hurt by another person. I am very aware of protector Goddesses, destroyers, etc. The Goddess seeks to right injustice not perpetuate hate. And she seeks that justice on those who cause harm - not everyone of that person's gender.

    No one has ever yelled at me to "take my tits out" or anything like that. Where do you live? Where I come from men mostly do the "look-over". Is that what you mean by "looking the wrong way at a woman"? If they like what they see that's fine by me. There are also Goddesses who are very comfortable with themselves, their sexuality, and their womanhood.

    The Goddess in general loves men (and women) and to say otherwise is to rob her of the concepts that make her different than the Christian god who has perpetuated misogyny for thousands of years. I'm not interested in turning the tables on the men and making sure they know what it's like to be oppressed. I'm more interested in owning my power and not being ruled by fear which is the real source of anger.

  6. "I'm not interested in turning the tables on the men and making sure they know what it's like to be oppressed."

    Neither am I, I'm interested in women's liberation.

    "I'm more interested in owning my power and not being ruled by fear which is the real source of anger."

    Fear is not the source of anger at all. Injustice is the source of anger.

  7. "When she is wronged, she reacts."

    Debi, here's some of that reaction for ya... and I'm saying it all by my wittle self in my own wittle voice. Yes, that was sarcasm and not a typo.

    Debi said:

    "Oh, and, to the original post also, don't tell me how to raise my son.

    And if you've got something to say, say it, but not through the 'goddess' voice' ffs, who do you think you are?"

    Seriously? Do you actually think I was talking to you specifically? Contrary to what you might believe the world does not revolve around you.

    Who do I think I am? I'm Lisa Marie Crawson Hutchings - a woman who was born divine and not afraid - and I will speak anyway I damn well please. My blog. My rules. If I want to pretend I'm Queen F-ing Elizabeth and speak through her tight lipped little mouth, that's exactly what I'm going to do - accent and all. I think it's pretty obvious that I am the one speaking in that post. If you want to take it as some sort of pretentious, condescending tripe then feel free.

    I didn't tell you how to raise your son specifically. Again, my comments were general. You chose to take it personally.

    "And women are wronged by men every second of every day."

    Stop speaking for me and every other woman in the world. Who are you to speak for my pain or anyone else's?

    Women wrong men too. How many boys have been abandoned, beaten, neglected, or otherwise abused by their mothers? Men are not the only creatures in the world capabale of causing harm. In the past few years alone there has been more than one case of a grown woman having sex with young boys.

    The world is fucked in a lot of ways by both genders. It's time people grow up and stop blaming the world's problems on everyone who has a dick.

    I don't know you and you don't know me. My post was not a personal attack on you. I'm sorry you took it that way and chose to attack me in return.

    You have a right to feel the way you feel and so do I. I'm sure you've already developed a ton of ideas about me. You probably assume I have never been hurt by a man. You probably assume I had a daddy who loved me. You probably assume I am defending my son, father, or brother. Wrong. Wrong. More wrong.

    "I'm interested in women's liberation."

    Maybe you should begin with yourself and get free of all the hate mongering.

    "Good grief but she's patronising, and younger than me toboot!"

    Maybe I'm just not going to allow myself to become a jaded woman. If that makes me an idealist, a dreamer, etc. then so be it. I choose to have hope in humanity.

  8. I love the picture you have for this post. Can you tell me more about it?
    Who is the artist? Thanks

  9. Hi Rhondda,

    The image is a photo of Greek Mother Goddess Gaia Statue by Kennon Williams (1996). I know I should be better about cited the photos I use. Sorry about that.

    Here is a link to purchase one of these figures:

  10. I try to stay pretty much gender neutral (outside of sex) and thus make it a point to treat women and men as equals. Having said that, as a guy, I can say that women take as much advantage/abuse (whatever you want to call it)of men as men do women. For every man trying to take advantage of women for sex or whatever there is the 'gold digger' (and please, don't even think of denying that) taking advantage of the guy for his paycheck, car or house. It happens. It is human nature. I only mention this because because someone commented on how bad men treat women. I just want to point out it can go both ways.

    On paganism, which is where this conversation really belongs, I do feel sometimes as a guy like I'm swimming upstream because women outnumber men in this area and there is so much emphasis on the goddess. She deserves credit but there is AlWAYS a god that accompanies the goddess. It is a partnership and more attention should be paid to that. Little talk is of the god and when many pagan circles are discussing things it does take a strong 'feminine' flavor. But the truth is, the faith is for both MEN & WOMEN.

    I'm glad you posted this because men want to be as active as women if given the chance. Like I said, it is a partnership. We must work together. If we do we will see better results and learn more.

  11. Jett - well said. I couldn't agree more. Why is it women seem to think we don't wrong men? People wrong people. I don't get why it's always about gender.

    Any woman who says there aren't gold diggers out there is either really good at choosing friends or doesn't get out much. There is a reason people write songs about it. One line I can think of off the top of my head: "Girls don't like boys. Girls like cars and money." If it hadn't happened to at least one guy there wouldn't be a song about it.

    Men struggle to be successful because it's how they believe (consciously or not) they will find love, companionship, family, etc. Why shouldn't they be upset to find out it was the things their lover wanted and not them? It's no different than if a woman believes a man loves her and it turns out he just wanted her for sex.

  12. Great post, Grian/Lee.

    Let's also remember that women can be abusive power-mongers and supporters of the hierarchical power-over nature of our society, and that men are also victims of the (so-called) patriarchy (e.g. getting drafted in to fight wars). Women also carry out female circumcision. And so on, and so on.

    Of course we should stand up to oppression; but responding to injustice with injustice, and assuming that all men are abusive and all women are all sweetness and light (or vice versa), is not the answer.

    I also agree with Paul that we need to see the beauty in each other first, and gender second. But then I'm a third-wave feminist and think the whole concept of gender is oppressive (especially the way a lot of Pagans go on about it).

  13. Oh yeah, and 90% of the gender-related oppression I have been on the receiving end of has been from WOMEN. "Why don't you shave your armpits/legs?" "You should wear make-up/a skirt..."

  14. Well said Yvonne. And yes, women are usually harder on women in my experience as well. We can be extremely caddy and nit-picky with each other. There seems to always be a feeling of competing with each other. I've been thinking there must be some sort of evolutionary reason for this but I haven't come up with anything concrete yet. :) Thanks for your comments.

  15. I just want to say Thank You for this post... These words, your words, speak deeply to me...

    Thank you again.

  16. Jenai - Thank YOU for such a positive response. I am thrilled that there are things on this blog that inspire people. Blessings.



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